Get comfortable. I figure if I'm going to write this all down, I'm not leaving anything out.
Kevin and I met in December of 2006 outside of an REI Scratch and Dent sale. Back then, we used to camp out for these sales to get a chance at some great deals on outdoor equipment (tents, kayaks, hiking boots, backpacks, etc). We both love a good deal. Kevin came with some of his old college buddies which included a girl that I knew from my college, Kennesaw State. I was there with a bunch of Kennesaw friends. (Sidenote: he's 4 years older than me and was living in Atlanta with his real job while I was still packed into my college house with 5 other girls making awesome college memories doing awesome college things) We were definitely in different seasons of life. I had a boyfriend at the time but I knew it wasn't going anywhere. I thought Kevin was so cute so I kept him in my back pocket. For a long time we were nothing more than Facebook friends.
When I finally broke up with the other guy, Kevin and I
started going on mountain biking rides together and lunches on the
river. I think his friends probably told him that he had to start dating
me. Eventually he asked me if he could take me out on a real date. We
went on a few dates and I was really into him but it wasn't mutual. A
month and a half in, he said "I'm having trouble seeing you as more than
a friend." I'll never forget those words. I was sad but he'd never been
anything but a gentleman so there were no hard feelings. If nothing
else, I figured the purpose for meeting him was for God to show me what
it was like to date a Godly man and lead me away from my ex-boyfriend.
It wasn’t fun but I was ok with it. Kevin and I remained friends but of
course I always wanted more. I never dated anyone else.I moved to Colorado. Did some internships. We stayed in touch. When I moved beck home, we met up and had dinner. After that dinner, I sent him a reckless text that just said "I like you." Yes I know...real mature. But hey, what's a girl to do? That was January 2010. He never responded. Ha! Of course he didn't. I can laugh at it now.
Anyway. I'd been reading Redeeming Love for the 58th time and was feeling especially mushy. I wrote Kevin a Dear John letter. Basically saying “I like you a lot. This is why. Blah blah blah. If you like me, come and get it. If you don't, then please don't call me. We can't be friends anymore.” Yes it was harsh, but I knew he would honor my request. I wasn't looking for sweet words. I was looking for closure. I finished the letter, sat on it and prayed about it for about 2 weeks. Then put it in the mail at the beginning of February. He never called.
Okay I lied. Almost 2 years later he called. It was a Sunday night and I was watching a movie with my roommates. We’d paused the movie for a bathroom break (three girls...you know) when I noticed the voicemail. I had erased his number. I can remember joking saying to my roommates “Oh a missed call from an unknown number…must be a date.” When in reality I wasn’t dating anyone and had no interests. Once I heard the first few seconds I realized it was him and dropped the phone. I know I sound dramatic but I was shocked. My roommates later told me they thought someone had died. I said that it was Kevin and he wanted to get coffee. They knew all about him. I went back to the bathroom and threw up.
Pause: I'd bumped into him about 3 months earlier when I went on a mountain biking ride by myself. I didn't expect to see him and when I got back to my car in the parking lot he was riding his bike past my car, very clearly checking it out. He was there with a friend. I was done with my ride and rode up to my car…and him. What else am I going to do, turn back around and do another loop? We chatted for a few minutes. I could barely get my bike on my roof because my knees were shaking so much. I don’t know if he noticed. I'd had a bad day which was why I was at the trail by myself. When I drove home I remember thinking "Thanks God, cause that was the cherry on top of just a real bad day. Why did I have to see him?"
3 months later, I was visiting friends in Chattanooga over New Years. It was around 4am and I couldn’t sleep so I got on Facebook. He was on chat also. So I randomly messaged him...like an idiot. We made small talk for about an hour. Nothing deep. Finally I thought, I have to end this before he does. I just said “Hey I’m going to try to get back to sleep.” We left it at that. As soon as I closed my computer I thought “Why did I do that?” It was two years later and I still liked him.
Play: Sunday night January 15th 2012 is when he called and left the voicemail. He asked if we could get coffee somewhere and then said he would call me back tomorrow night if he didn’t hear back from me. The next day I went straight to my co-workers office and informed her not to make lunch plans because we needed to talk. Kim was a whole other story. The short of it was that she knew Kevin. I’d met her the first time he and I dated but she didn’t remember me. After starting my job, I quickly made the connection and after a few months of working there, I ended up telling her about Kevin and how I’d met her before. Her husband and Kevin were/are good friends.
When Kim and I had lunch that day I told her everything. How I’d bumped into him mountain biking and chatted with him on Facebook. She already knew everything. I remember saying to her “He obviously thinks that by me talking to him on Facebook, that I am over it and good to be friends again. Well I'm not and I DON’T want to get coffee with him.” To which she responded “Allison, I’ve been talking to him about this for a while and he doesn’t want to be your friend…” (Insert sigh here)
Did you just sigh? That’s awesome. Anyway, he called me back that Monday night like he said he would. We agreed on Land of 1000 Hills on the Chattahoochee that Thursday night. I didn’t eat or sleep the next 4 days. I’ve never reacted to stress like that before. I swear it was God’s way of helping me lose 5 pounds. Neither of us drinks coffee. He had a hot chocolate and I got a chai latte. He brought blankets because he thought it might get cold. I just wanted to meet somewhere that we could be outside. There was a lot to be said and I didn’t want the hipster sitting at the table next to us getting an ear full (like you are right now).
We talked for an hour or two. I basically said “Why would it be any different? What has changed? I can’t do all this again.” He presented a good argument. Said he’d been praying about it a long time. He knew it was a big deal. It was a big deal to both of us. He couldn’t make any guarantees but he wanted to give it another try. Blah blah blah. I’m a pushover and here we are.
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